Well, folks, it’s just about time to say goodbye to summer, and to be frank about it, I am not sorry. It is my least favorite of all the seasons and often feels like it’s there just to be gotten through. But one thing I …
I’ve written and deleted this post at least a dozen times. This week marks the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing, and it’s been almost as long since I’ve posted here. Writing, for me, has always been a way of creating order out of …
It has been a very strange summer, and I realize that, by now, we are well into fall, but it takes me some time to get my system up and running at full speed again after the summer season. Because I hate it. It’s sweaty …
Bear with me, guys, as I’m trying very hard to get back into the practice of daily writing. The topics are going to seem a little all over the map for a while, but I hope there’s at least still something of interest in it …
When I was in college, in a small writing program at a an art school in New York, it was around sophomore year that we were sitting in studio and one of my professors said something that would stick with me through the rest of …
My family thinks I’m fucking crazy. The words they use to my face, because they love me, are “brave” and “ballsy”, but I know full well the conversations they’re having behind my back probably sound a little more like how I talk to myself. Every few years, I approach them with another little bundle of chaos in the form of my latest scheme and then sit back and watch as they purse their lips, raise their eyebrows slightly, shake their heads, and say something to the effect of, “Well, if that’s what you think you should do….”
It isn’t. It’s never what I think I should do. It’s always something I know, logically, I should absolutely not do. But sometimes I just want the things that I want, even when it seems like I’m not really supposed to have them. And like a dog trained to bad habits by too many feedings from the dinner table, things have worked out for me enough times that I haven’t learned to act better.
I mentioned on an Instagram post yesterday that I think I’m about to bid on a house. A house that’s in the States. Via the internet. From Korea. And what’s worse is that, given the current exchange rate and the 16 percent extra fees, I can only barely manage to scrape together an offer 10k over the starting bid, which is way too low for what’s on offer. There is basically no point in me doing this. Worst case scenario, I just wasted a lot of time and a little bit of money making a pointless bid on a house that was a dream drifting on the wind to begin with. Best case scenario, I just spent all my savings to buy a house over the internet. A house I’ve never seen in a state I’ve never visited.
You don’t have to tell me. I already know. I’m 37 years old and not particularly stupid. Despite all appearances, there is a lot of thought and weighing of pros and cons that goes into my harebrained schemes. I don’t take the long shots because I think I’m likely to make them. I take them because I can’t stand the thought of a life without them. Because I don’t know what I would do with a life that was only made up of what seems obviously possible. I’m fully aware that I only get one go-round, here. But that thought doesn’t make me want to be more careful. It makes me terrified of letting fear and circumstance hem me in. It makes me want to take every chance I get to grab fistfuls of life with both hands and not let go.
Let’s be clear: forgoing an act of God, I’m not gonna get this house. I’m still not even sure I’m gonna go through the absolute circus it would take to get a bid in from another country. I’m still waiting for my gut to settle on the issue one way or another. I’ve got a little over a week before I have to decide. But at this point, it’s not really about this house anymore. I’ve been poring over real estate listings for close to two years now, but it has all just felt so murky and hypothetical. Up until this point, it was mostly a feverish self-soothing activity to prove to myself, on the evenings when I was really starting to panic, that at the very least I could manage to get a roof over my head, even if that roof didn’t also include indoor plumbing. But this week, something shifted, and I started to see the outlines of a life — a life after Korea, after everything that has happened here.
Working in the bakery, I’ve met a lot of folks who have a foot in both worlds, just like me. Whether they were Korean and had lived in the States or were from the States and were living here, the fact that I run one of the few American-style bakeries in the city drew them into my orbit. I’ve had a lot of chats over the past few years with people who were, like me now, preparing to make a transition from one side to the other or trying, at least, to make up their minds about whether or not they should. My advice has always been that the best way to do it, if you can, is to wait until you feel like you’re running toward something instead of away from something.
I’ve got a lot back home that I’m running toward, but to be perfectly honest, until recently, this whole shenanigan has definitely felt more like an escape plot. All of the specific reasons for that will, I’m sure, become clear to you all in time. For now, I just have to focus on getting out first. But with this house and all of the potential I saw for a life there, the balance has shifted somewhat, and this week, I don’t feel so much like an escapee. I feel more like a person who is starting something new. And I think, ultimately, that’s what the long shot gives you: a sliver of hope that you can have more than you should really dare to ask for, and the chance to see possibilities instead of probabilities. And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need.
Here. Have a recipe for raspberry chocolate cake.
Y’all, what a year. I always feel like I have so much explaining to do when I pop back up on this blog once or twice a year, but I have nothing to really say for myself this time, except that in late February of …
This may seem like a strange post to be popping up in February, but everyone should know by now that I tend to operate on my own schedule. To be honest, this New Year was a hell of a pill to swallow for me, and …
On Saturday night, it finally happened. I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus that would carry me home after an 11-hour shift at the shop working on a large, last-minute order. My back and feet were aching, but a strange feeling of lightness settled over me. I should feel worse than I do, I thought to myself. Just then a cool breeze kicked up and brushed past, carrying some of my exhaustion with it. While the days are still holding strong, in the evening, it’s impossible to ignore — fall is really here.
In honor of that mixture of warmer days with a little taste of autumn at night, I wanted to dress up my salads a little this week with a preview of what’s to come. This salad features honey roasted pumpkin, pecans, cranberries and a very, very simple and easy-to-make honey dijon dressing.
It comes together very quickly, once you have the pumpkin roasted, and even that isn’t very hands on. This is a busy time of year for me as a baker, so much so that I don’t really get to do a lot of the low-and-slow fall cooking I used to dedicate my weekends to, but that’s okay, because where there’s a will, there’s a way, and this salad has been a nice compromise.
Like all salads, it is highly customizable and would be just as good with any number of greens, I think. I used what I had on hand, which was romaine, red dandelion greens and a variety of baby greens. I think spinach would also be good, as its hearty enough to stand up to the other earthy ingredients. The honey dijon dressing also works as a stand-alone recipe and comes together in less than five minutes.
I hope you all are enjoying the same little jolt of energy I am with these cooler days that have not yet turned from energy-sapping heat to energy-sapping cold. And I hope you can make good use of this simple little recipe that celebrates fall in a lighter way. Take care, and I’ll see y’all again on Thursday.
I’m not a breakfast person, but I am a fan of early mornings. Lately, I’ve been trying to wake up earlier to get a quieter, slower start to the day, but the result is that by the time I make it home from the shop …
I made these hazelnut chocolate ricotta tea cakes a couple of months back, and I have to say, I’ve rarely been more surprised by a dessert. There are few more classic combinations than hazelnut and chocolate, of course, and the ricotta may sound like an …
Well, folks, it’s just about time to say goodbye to summer, and to be frank about it, I am not sorry. It is my least favorite of all the seasons and often feels like it’s there just to be gotten through. But one thing I do always lament about the passing of this time of year is having to say goodbye to berries, especially blueberries. In fact, I was so into blueberries this year that I let cherries slip right past me.
I’ve also been pretty fixated on sage these past few months, mostly I think because it’s an herb I’ve always overlooked in the past, and that I think many people overlook in general in terms of desserts. This recipe brings both of these sweet little plants together, along with crushed walnuts, all served up on the laziest of all pastries, the galette.
Galettes, like cobbler, are perfect for when you want a pie, without all the hassle. And that makes them especially great for summer, when all the prime pie ingredients — like blueberries — are at their peak, but it’s too hot to spend more than an hour or so in the kitchen. They’re also less sweet, which means they’re great not only for dessert, but for breakfast or brunch as well. And without all that sugar, the berries and sage really have an opportunity to shine.
Before I let summer slip completely by, I wanted to post this recipe so it’s not lost forever. It is one of my favorites, I think, and it’ll give me something to look forward to each time the temperature begins to rise and I start to despair about long, humid, sweaty days returning.
It has been a very strange summer, and I realize that, by now, we are well into fall, but it takes me some time to get my system up and running at full speed again after the summer season. Because I hate it. It’s sweaty …
A decade ago — or possibly even less — I would’ve made fun of the kind of person who made a birthday cake for their dog. We always had family dogs while I was growing up, but they were backyard dogs who, while part of …
Y’all ever have a week that feels like it might be a test from the universe, and if so, that you’re probably not passing it? I’m not talking about anything major, but just one of those weeks that’s like death by a million paper cuts.
That’s alright, though. We all have them. We all get through them. And let me tell you… when a big part of your job is customer service? Well. Enough said.
It’s not my ‘weekend’ yet… that starts on Monday for me. But I know it’s the weekend for most of you all, so I thought I’d post this little pick-me-up of a simple recipe in case you’ve had a week like I have and need something good, but not too complicated, to brighten up your weekend. For the shop this weekend, I’m making these chai-tea inspired, creme-brûlée inspired mini pies, a bit of an adaptation from a recipe I dug out of a cookbook I have. To make it, I needed to infuse some heavy cream with a bunch of spices to give it chai vibes, and while I was test-tasting, I realized it would make a killer coffee creamer. And it took about five minutes of actual work.
I realize there’s already a chai-flavored hot beverage option that’s been around for a while, but I’m a coffee drinker, and tea is for when I’m already having a good day and feeling uppity, alright? When it’s been a week, we don’t hold back. We break out the coffee. Am I wrong?
As a side note, I also fully intend to try this as a replacement for whipped cream and fully encourage y’all to whip some up to top off your coffees if you’re feeling fancy. I know I’m going to.
We can’t always control how our days go, but we can damn well set aside 15 minutes for a nice cup of coffee.
